Seven Wonders
by Fluffler
Summary: Carby through and through - a series of short standalones reflecting different aspects of their relationship. COMPLETED
1. Hope

Feel free to skip this Authors Notes part and just head to the good stuff ;- )  
  
I really wanted to write a series, but for the life of me I can't think of an original idea for one. So, I've decided to write a series of short standalones.  
  
Confused? You won't be as soon as I get started ;-)  
  
I must point out that this series isn't meant to fit into a specific point in Carter and Abby's relationship, it's just me letting my fuzzy side go wild.  
  
I'm tempted to integrate some of my previous stand alone fics into this one so that I have at least one series to my name - I dunno, we'll see how it goes. . .  
  
This fic, in its entirety, is dedicated to Erica Louise for her constant encouragement, be it supporting or bordering on the impatient side ;-)  
  
And I must point out that I do realize that anything I write will never reach the standards of the experts out there - TaylorWise, KenzieGal, Sunni, Mandy (all.out.carby), Brookestar, Ali, TheREALCarbyLove, Anna, Jen, Aimee, Cat, Kitty, Nikki, Charli (soulofanangel) *hopes she's got everyone in that and is very sorry if she hasn't* - what can I say, you're an absolute inspiration.  
  
Anyway, enough of me rambling on *shut up already*.  
  
*****  
  
Wonder Number One - Hope.  
  
*****  
  
I park my jeep in the usual spot, turning off the ignition. Stepping out, I close the door lightly and lock the car. The beeping shatters the calm night air, and for a few minutes I just stand there, leaning against my car.  
  
I find it funny that even after being on the go non-stop all day, this is where I return to. All I want is food, a couch and then bed - and yet I don't go home. I come here.  
  
I take the steps two at a time, pausing briefly to turn my key in the lock. In seconds I'm faced with another door, but this time I hesitate before going in. Using the key I was given so long ago, I open the door slowly, shutting it behind me as quietly as I can.  
  
I think about calling her name, but decide against it knowing full well that after a day like today she might have entered her dreams a little earlier than usual tonight.  
  
A small moan escapes my mouth as I collapse onto the couch, its cushions giving me the comfort that I've been craving for hours. Closing my eyes, I lie still, determined to enjoy the relaxation for as long as possible.  
  
I must be more relaxed than I realize, because I don't hear footsteps behind me. I'm only aware of her presence as her lips make soft contact with the skin at the back of my neck, causing my hairs to stand up on end.  
  
I reach my hand round to her side, pulling her onto the couch with me. I don't bother making room for her, as I know exactly which position she'll take.  
  
Same as always.  
  
Her back on my chest, her head between mine and the back of the couch, my arms wrapped around her stomach.  
  
I slide her shirt up slightly, stroking her skin in my own rhythm. She mirrors this move on my arms - again, making my hairs react to her touch.  
  
I feel her chest expand and I know she's going to speak.  
  
"Thank you for doing that. I didn't mean to burden you with her, it's just. . . "  
  
I don't wait for her to finish her sentence.  
  
"It was no problem."  
  
She relaxes again, taking one of my hands in hers, intertwining our fingers. We sit in silence again for a while, contemplating the day. I can feel that more needs to be said on the subject, but I'm not exactly sure what to say.  
  
I start circling her navel with my fingers, and even though I cant see her face I know she's got her eyes closed.  
  
"She went off OK you know."  
  
Silence.  
  
"She always does. She comes down here, wreaks havoc in my life for a few days, then goes. . ."  
  
I decide to interrupt, telling her the one message Maggie asked me to pass on.  
  
"She said to tell you that she loves you."  
  
She's not relenting.  
  
". . .and then I'm left to wonder when I'll see her next, or if there will even be a next time."  
  
And with that, she climbs off me, and walks into her bedroom.  
  
I never ceases to amaze me how moments like these can be made or broken by the same thing.  
  
Words.  
  
I don't follow her - I've learnt not to do that. She's upset, and although part of me is aching to go and hold her in my arms, I know that as much as I want it to, it actually won't do her any good at this moment.  
  
Instead, I trail to the fridge. Pulling out some leftover chicken, I make myself a sandwich and devour it quickly.  
  
I debate with myself over a glass of orange juice whether or not to join her yet, and against my better judgement, I do. Walking to her bedroom door, I realize I was right to think that it was too early to follow her.  
  
She's frantically clearing the room up, putting objects that were previously in disarray back to where they belong. I lean against the doorway, and she moves swiftly past me to put a towel in the dirty laundry basket.  
  
I sigh heavily, and drop into a sitting position onto her bed.  
  
My side of the bed, but her bed none the less.  
  
It's not until I've sat that I realize what she's doing. She hasn't touched any of my belongings, and she's barely moved her own. Everything that she makes contact with was used the past few days by the same person.  
  
Maggie.  
  
Taking a deep breath, I open my mouth just as she walks back into the bedroom.  
  
"She's your Mother Abby. For better for worse, whatever state of mind she's in. . .she's your blood."  
  
She stares at me, her brown eyes piercing mine.  
  
"Thicker than water, right?"  
  
I'm not sure how to take that, but seeing her turn back into the bathroom makes me realize it wasn't meant in a positive.  
  
There's only one thing for it.  
  
Following her, I reach the doorway to find her staring intently at her reflection in the cabinet mirror. I prepare myself for outburst as she turns to face me.  
  
But boy, am I wrong.  
  
Closing the distance between us, she envelops me in her embrace, clinging to my chest.  
  
Wow.  
  
It takes me a while to react. . .she's never done that before. It's always been me going to her. Slowly but surely, I wrap my arms around her form, savouring every second.  
  
It suddenly occurs to me that I don't need her thanks. I don't need her gratitude, I don't need her appreciation. I know how much what I did meant to her, regardless of how many times she tells me she's grateful.  
  
In a bid to tell her this without her even uttering another word, I change my stance. Looking down at her, I tip her chin up with my fingers to meet my gaze.  
  
"Anytime."  
  
I lean down, softly rubbing my nose along the length of hers. Reciprocating, she snuggles closer still into my torso, making me instinctively wrap my arms even tighter around her small frame.  
  
And so we stand.  
  
For seconds. . . minutes. . . who's counting? All that matters is us.  
  
Her.  
  
And me.  
  
Us.  
  
I love that. I find it hard to fight the smile off my lips whenever anyone refers to us as one. Not two separate people, but one.  
  
Two halves of a whole?  
  
Not yet.  
  
Soon, though.  
  
She stirs, bringing me back to reality. With a final squeeze, she leaves my arms and returns to the bathroom to begin her nightly ritual.  
  
For a moment, I consider watching her as I usually do. But she solves my predicament, as I hear her voice filter through from the other room.  
  
"Aren't you gonna warm up the bed?"  
  
I can almost hear the smile in her voice.  
  
Typical.  
  
Even though I'm not within her view, she knows I'm still standing in the same position. . . the memory of our embrace too precious to leave just yet.  
  
But I do leave.  
  
Because I'm safe in the knowledge that there will be plenty more to come.  
  
Taking off my clothes, I discard them in a heap on the floor. Wearing boxers and a t-shirt, I shift over to her side of the bed and close my eyes.  
  
Whenever I'm alone in bed, I instinctively move to her side - be it for the whole night, or just ten minutes while she completes her routine.  
  
Like now.  
  
It looks like time's up. Walking through the doorway, she takes off her clothes and folds them neatly on a chair. Suddenly, she motions for me to sit up.  
  
I oblige, smiling slightly as I realize her game.  
  
She grabs the hem of my upper garment, lifting it over my head.  
  
Within seconds, she's wearing my t-shirt and motioning for me to move over.  
  
I don't move, choosing instead to look at her with mock surprise.  
  
"Hey! What if I get cold?"  
  
By this point she's pushing me over to the other side, giving me no choice but to move.  
  
"You wont."  
  
"And how do you know?"  
  
"Because you. . ."  
  
She stops mid sentence to wrap her arms around my abdomen, turning me on my side so she fits in perfectly behind me.  
  
". . .have me."  
  
I take one of her hands and bring it up to my lips, kissing it lightly.  
  
"Then I can't really complain, can I?"  
  
I feel her grin into my neck, as she kisses it lightly before settling down up against me once more.  
  
Slumber is approaching, and I'm almost there when I hear her voice. It's quiet, but unmistakably clear.  
  
"You give me hope, John. . .In a way that no one else can."  
  
She sighs softly, relaxing against my back before inhaling once more.  
  
"And you'll never know how grateful I am for that."  
  
Once again, I don't need to hear it.  
  
Because she's wrong.  
  
I do know.  
  
And it's more than enough. 


	2. Faith

First off, thanks to all the lovely reviews from last time - you absolutely made my day.  
  
Kenzie - coming from someone as talented as you that meant a lot - I'll certainly wear that standalone crown with pride.  
  
TaylorWise - again, given the standard of your own writing, your words mean a great deal. Hope this chapter also pleases you.  
  
So here you go - the second standalone in my series. I'm gotta say I'm not sure about this one, it's proved quite hard to write, but I'm going to post it anyway.  
  
As usual, any reviews greatly appreciated :-)  
  
*****  
  
Wonder Number Two - Faith  
  
*****  
  
"Oh please, that is so lame!"  
  
I stop dead in my tracks through the ambulance bay, looking at him in complete shock. He's feigning innocence like I've never seen before.  
  
"What?!"  
  
It's almost too hard to resist.  
  
Almost.  
  
"I can't believe you're using that as an excuse."  
  
"It's true isn't it?"  
  
I regain my step enough to nudge him off balance, laughing softly. I haven't seen him all day - he left at 10am, two hours before our shifts were due to start. I didn't ask where he was going, although I know it had something to do with his mother who has decided to visit this week.  
  
When I eventually got up at 11, I decided to take a shower before work only to find that there was no hot water left.  
  
"You're telling me that the reason behind you using so much hot water was. . . "  
  
". . . you. Being the morning person that you are - you got me all sweaty so I needed a shower."  
  
I hate people finishing my sentences.  
  
Then again, he doesn't count as "people" anymore.  
  
"Yeah, a shower, not a swim. . . and if that's the way you feel about the way I wake you up then maybe I'll stop."  
  
He leans so that our faces are almost touching.  
  
Hello, John Carter.  
  
"I didn't say that. . . I guess I'll just invite you to share my 'swim' next time."  
  
Please do.  
  
"Yeah, that may be the only thing that's going to let you off the hook with this one."  
  
Grinning, I lean in for a kiss.  
  
It's deep, sensual, and has the ability to go much further than it should on a street kerb.  
  
Which is why I break away, moving to his left ear to speak in a low voice.  
  
"Take me home."  
  
He smiles, taking my hand and kissing it lightly.  
  
We make our way to the El station, filling each other in with details of our respective days.  
  
A day spent in the same place, with the same people, and yet both our shifts have been completely different.  
  
I love this.  
  
Regular, everyday activity that seems so little but means so much.  
  
He doesn't even let my hand go when we get to the ticket turnstiles. It's a game we play sometimes. One of us will walk one way, the other takes another path, and we try to overcome obstacles in our route without breaking contact - namely lampposts, doors, turnstiles. . . the list goes on.  
  
The symbolism of the game isn't lost on me - two people trying to make it through barriers that get in their way, fighting to keep contact with each other.  
  
Someday we'll manage the larger scale equivalent as well as we play the game.  
  
We're getting there.  
  
Reaching the platform, I notice him shivering slightly.  
  
I wrap my arms around his waist from behind, surrounding him with my heat.  
  
"Better?"  
  
He leans his head to the side and our eyes meet.  
  
"Much."  
  
Smiling, he bends his head down to meet mine, making our noses touch  
  
We stay this way on the platform for a while, enjoying the peace. When you work in a place as hectic and as noisy as County General, you come to learn that silence at times really is golden.  
  
Our still reverie is shattered by the noise of a train approaching in the distance. Undeterred, I don't move my arms from around his form - if anything I hold on tighter.  
  
I can just about see the right side of his face tighten as he smiles again.  
  
A tiny detail in the vast complications of life that just lights up my world completely.  
  
How he does that, I'll never know.  
  
But I'm so grateful.  
  
As the train doors open, I reluctantly drop my arms. He must sense this as he reaches for my hand, leading me into the last carriage.  
  
It's empty.  
  
I suppose that's what you get for ending shifts at midnight.  
  
Still, I'm not complaining.  
  
I've had to share him with patients and other staff members all day, it's about time I got to him to myself for a while.  
  
He sits in an individual seat on his left, and I don't hesitate in climbing onto his lap, wrapping my hands around his neck for balance.  
  
Or so I believe.  
  
Time and time again, I reach out to him, leaning on him. And yet I won't admit, especially to myself, that I need him.  
  
I won't do that yet.  
  
But I know that given time, there's a distinct possibility I will.  
  
Soon.  
  
His voice interrupts my thoughts, the same smile now moving into his words.  
  
"There's 29 other seats in here, you know that, right?"  
  
I look at him pointedly, and begin to make a move off his knees.  
  
It's not even a split second later when I feel his strong arms pull me back down. Cupping my face lightly, he captures my mouth in a soft kiss. I pull away after a while, set on answering his comments.  
  
"Something's attracting me to this one."  
  
We stay that way for a while, wrapped up in each other.  
  
I've waited all day for this, and he doesn't disappoint.  
  
He never could.  
  
Suddenly, the train jerks to a stop. I look out of the window, expecting to see a platform, or the name of a station.  
  
There's nothing of the sort.  
  
"What the. . . "  
  
Carter's questions are cut off by the loudspeaker, informing us that due to minor technical difficulties, the train will remain still for the time being until it's possible to continue.  
  
As if on cue, the lights in the train switch off, plummeting us into darkness.  
  
The only thing that's illuminating our surroundings are the lights of the city below.  
  
I don't like this.  
  
I wrap my hands around him even tighter, eliciting a slight giggle from him.  
  
"It's just a minor fault. We'll be out of here in no time."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
I don't loosen my grip at all. Instead I snuggle closer to him, leaning my head on his shoulder, pressing my lips to his neck. In turn, he moves his hands lower, circling my stomach with one whilst rubbing my lower back with the other.  
  
I'm hit by how instantly safe he makes me feel. I'm in the dark, on a broken down El train, in an empty carriage - but in his arms I feel protected.  
  
He's all I need.  
  
I swivel round in his lap, to face the window, looking towards our only source of light - a remote one at that.  
  
"Wow."  
  
He turns to look at me.  
  
"What?"  
  
I make myself comfortable again, nestling deeper into his body.  
  
I can't get close enough.  
  
"When I was small, I used to creep into Eric's room, which had a much better view than mine, and sit for ages. . . looking at the lights, the stars, the traffic. It was peaceful somehow - like no matter what you're going through, everything still carries on."  
  
My voice trails off as I continue to stare at our environment.  
  
After a bit, I speak again to ask a question that's been playing on my mind somewhat lately.  
  
"What do you think it is that makes the world go round?"  
  
I move my gaze from Chicago to Carter. He seems bemused by my question, so I try and explain further.  
  
"I don't mean scientifically. I mean. . . something must make people want to live. Something must make them want to carry on, to survive, to develop - otherwise they wouldn't."  
  
He's quiet for a while, pondering my query.  
  
I look back towards the city.  
  
It's one of the few things left in life that continues to amaze me.  
  
So many people, each one with a different life. Different stories to tell, different pasts, presents and futures. No one knowing what's going to happen next, but carrying on nevertheless.  
  
"Faith."  
  
His voice startles me somewhat, and I turn once more to look at him.  
  
"Faith?"  
  
He pauses before carrying on.  
  
"My grandfather once taught me a song about how money makes the world go round. It's one of the most obvious things that divides people - into classes, into groups. . . a form of measuring your worth. Gamma, on the other hand, completely disagreed with him."  
  
That smile reappears, fond memories of his Grandmother filling his mind.  
  
"She believed it was love. Something natural, something simple - either you have it, or you don't. Either you feel it, or you don't. You can't push it, you can't force it, and you certainly can't fake it. It's pure, and she thought it had the ability to make or break people."  
  
Again he pauses. I remain still, his dialect seeming to precious to disturb. My eyes are still fixated on the glow below us.  
  
"In many ways she was right. But personally, I think it's faith. Belief that no matter how many bad things occur, things will get better. Knowing that your live can improve, certainty that even if everything goes the opposite direction to the way you want it to go, one day things will turn 180 degrees and you'll be back on track."  
  
He seems so sure of this, as if it's something that he's thought about numerous times before.  
  
"It's something you have, it's something you loose, and it's something you regain. But deep down, whether they feel it constantly or not, I think that everyone knows that no matter what happens. . . things are going to be OK."  
  
And its at that moment that I realize what he's basing this on.  
  
Us.  
  
He's shocked me slightly, and yet encouraged me to consider this myself.  
  
Do I have faith? I ponder this for a while. It's obvious that I have something, given all I've got through in my years. But I don't think I'd call it faith. . . it wasn't that certain.  
  
It was more like hope, I guess. Not knowing, but wishing.  
  
But as for us. . . that's a different matter. He's told me time and time again that he's drawn to me. . . it's not something he can explain, but it's something that he can't see ever not happening. He's there for me to lean on, he's there for me to laugh with, he's there for me to cry with. . . he's there for me to just be with. No matter what I need, he's there.  
  
No, I'm not as open as he is with my feelings. I don't openly declare my cares, and I don't always tell him what I'm thinking.  
  
But that doesn't mean I don't feel, care and think, because I do.  
  
I feel more for this man than I let myself believe just yet.  
  
I care more about this man than I let myself believe just yet.  
  
Far more.  
  
I know my answer.  
  
Raising my head, I look him straight in the eyes, telling him what he needs to know - what he deserves to know.  
  
"We're gonna be OK."  
  
Even in the dark I can see his face light up, coming closer to mine. His response is gentle, and yet completely clear.  
  
"I know."  
  
I wrap my arms around him in a hug, and I feel his head lower onto my shoulder.  
  
I have faith in you, John.  
  
What's more, I have faith in us.  
  
Unexpectedly, my surroundings suddenly light up. Within seconds we're moving again.  
  
We stay in each other's arms, without even a flinch.  
  
There's nothing that could make me want to move right now.  
  
Unfortunately, our stop arrives, and I realize I have to move unless I plan on a long walk home.  
  
I rise off his lap, offering my hand to him with a grin. He takes it, and I lead him off the train. This time its him who walks behind me, wrapping his hands around me in complete imitation of my actions earlier.  
  
He speaks tenderly, his lips running along my neck.  
  
"Take me home." 


	3. Beauty

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews once again, you guys are the best.  
  
Those of you who've read my previous fics will recognize bits of this out of "Waterfalls" - I said at the beginning that I might integrate some of my other stand-alones into this series, and I felt that "Waterfalls" fitted in here pretty well. And hey, there's no law against stealing my own material, right?  
  
*****  
  
Wonder Number Three - Beauty  
  
*****  
  
Shutting the door behind me, I rest my satchel in its usual place, hanging up my coat seconds later. All the way home I've been wondering why she hadn't come to find me at the end of her shift, which had ended a couple of hours before mine.  
  
I can't shake the sense of worry that currently has a hold on me.  
  
Walking into the kitchen, I open my mouth ready to call her name.  
  
My intended intonation is stopped short by the presence of delicately placed fingers over my eyes. Taken aback, I lose my balance slightly. Her arms around my shoulders steady me, pulling me back slightly so she can whisper in my ear.  
  
"Welcome home."  
  
Home.  
  
Her apartment - my home.  
  
Giggling slightly, she shuffles me around and carries on leading me from behind.  
  
"Keep them closed!"  
  
"I am!"  
  
Like there's any way I can open them. I can't believe it - one of our few nights off together this week and she's not even letting me use my eyes to look at her.  
  
"Almost there. . . "  
  
My turn to giggle.  
  
"Abby, will you just. . . "  
  
My voice trails off as suddenly, my vision lights up. And I can't believe my eyes.  
  
All around the bath are little candles, each lit with their own tiny glow. The bath is filled to the brim with steaming water, a surface of bubbles is threatening to overspill onto the carpet. My gaze falls on two glasses placed on the corner of the bath, each filled with a clear substance. I manage to stutter a few words.  
  
"Is that. . . "  
  
"Lemonade? Yes."  
  
Her eyes catch on mine, the twinkle in them giving away that she knows I thought it was another type of liquid - a variety of the addictive kind. Leaning in closer, again she speaks in a hushed manner.  
  
"I'm happy with you. Things are good."  
  
I attempt to close the remaining gap and kiss her, but she pulls away, choosing instead to sit on the edge of the bath.  
  
"So. . ."  
  
I'm unable to take my eyes off her.  
  
You could light a thousand cities with the electricity that's conducting between us right now.  
  
The little things she does - her laughs, her expressions, even the way she pulls her hair out of her eyes in the middle of a trauma - they absolutely make my day.  
  
Standing up, she walks past me, her hips grazing my thigh in a way that makes my entire body turn on the spot just to keep her in my view.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
She doesn't answer, choosing instead to stand with her arms crossed, glancing at me amusedly.  
  
The twinkle still hasn't left her eyes.  
  
She turns around, and shouts out to me before disappearing to the kitchen.  
  
"Get in the bath Carter."  
  
So I do.  
  
I undress myself quickly, not caring where I discard my clothes. I have to pick them up every morning from haphazard places in which they were thrown the night before, and there's no reason for tomorrow morning to be any different.  
  
I test the water with my big toe, before pulling it out quickly. It's hot - far hotter than I usually bathe in. I consider letting some water out and using the cold tap.  
  
But for some reason, I don't want to. I almost don't want to touch anything in the room at all - I want it to stay this way forever. But I know that can't happen, so I resign myself to creating ripples in the water and breaks in the smooth covering of bubbles as I gradually lower myself into the steaming water. I barely notice the carpet around the bath being engulfed in foamy white bubbles - the entire apartment could flood right now and I'd have trouble noticing.  
  
I moan in pleasure as I lie back against the side of the bath, shutting my eyes slowly as I gratefully let the water surround me.  
  
A voice comes from the side of the bath.  
  
"Woah, that was fast. And there I was hoping to undress you a little myself."  
  
I look to the side and grin. She's dressed in my robe, her hair tied up loosely at the back of her head.  
  
That twinkle. It's still there.  
  
She shuffles to the right, kneels down, and starts to run her fingers up and down the back of my neck.  
  
"Did you have a good day? I didn't see you much - I guess that's what being Nurse Manager does to you. Too much paperwork and not enough time to help the doctors."  
  
I try to answer her, but it comes out as a muffled response. She knows what she's doing is driving me crazy, and so she moves her hands down to my shoulders and starts to rub them.  
  
"You're certainly helping me now"  
  
I shift my position up a little to allow her easier access. Her massaging becomes firmer, and I feel my muscles relax in her grasp.  
  
The bath is still over brimming, the candles are still glowing, and even though I can't see them I know her eyes are still shining.  
  
The hairs on my neck suddenly stand on end as she exhales along my lower hairline. Feeling the tip of her nose on my shoulders, I shudder involuntary. My own breathing becomes laboured, and I know she can tell.  
  
Suddenly, something snaps, and I come back into reality. I open my eyes, lean my head back, just as she rises slightly allowing our eyes to meet.  
  
I speak the only words that I can think of at this moment - the only words I want to say.  
  
"Abby. . . get in."  
  
She lowers her head a little, allowing her lips to graze across my forehead. Moving down the bridge of my nose, she kisses its tip, finally reaching my ear.  
  
"I thought you'd never ask."  
  
I sit up, and begin to move further towards the back of the bath, but she stops me with her hand, and pushes me forward slightly. In one swift movement, she drops the robe onto the floor, and climbs into the tub.  
  
As she sits down, I realize why she pushed me forward. She sits down behind me, her entire body surrounding me. I can't believe it. Just when you think things can't get any better. . .  
  
"Drink?"  
  
I nod, extending my arm to meet the glass she hands to me. I sip cautiously, still feeling as if any sudden movement or change will shatter this night. Suddenly I hear her laughing, and I turn around to look at her questioningly.  
  
"What?"  
  
She answers, still giggling slightly.  
  
"You look so thoughtful - almost worried. And here I was thinking this would relax you."  
  
Abby, sweetheart, if only you knew.  
  
Reaching for her other hand, I kiss it lightly, moving slowly up her arm and neck until I reach her mouth.  
  
Again, she pulls away. I groan in protest.  
  
She takes my glass from me and returns it to the side of the bath, leaning over me as she does so. She pauses on the return to her original position, speaking as her eyes catch mine.  
  
"Later."  
  
After settling against the back of the bath again, she wraps her legs around me, moving her toes up and down my calves. I allow myself to fall back on her chest, shutting my eyes once more to enjoy the moment. I feel her heartbeat on my back, strumming it's familiar rhythm that I've become so attached to.  
  
She reaches across my shoulders to grab something, and places it in the water. I open my eyes just as she squeezes a sponge across my chest.  
  
She's creating waterfalls.  
  
Mini-cascades of fluid, running across my torso.  
  
This woman.  
  
All she has to do is touch me, and I melt. I can't believe something like running water across my body can make me feel this way.  
  
Maybe it's the candles, or the music, or the bubbles.  
  
Maybe it's everything put together.  
  
Or maybe it's just her.  
  
I gradually come out of my thoughts to realize that the waterfalls have gone, and the aroma of apple is filling the room. She's lathering up my hair, working every inch of my scalp with her fingers.  
  
I can't keep my hands off her. I run my fingers up and down her thighs, sending little bubbles of air that were on her skin rushing to the surface of the water.  
  
She pushes me further towards the other end of the bath, causing my head to lower closer to the water. Scooping up with her hands, she rinses the shampoo off, leaving my hair sticking up in a dishevelled manner.  
  
I feel the depth of the water lower as she steps out of the bath. Grabbing a towel, she wraps herself in it, shivering slightly.  
  
She holds her hands out, another towel grasped by them.  
  
To my surprise, I don't hesitate in getting out of the bath. But I soon realize why.  
  
After being in a bath with this woman, I'm never going to want to soak alone again.  
  
After wrapping my towel around my waist, she leads me to the bedroom and gestures for me to sit on the bed. Using yet another towel that she must have picked up along they way, she stands between my legs rubbing my hair dry. I find my eyes closing once more, and I find I can no longer focus on anything but her rhythmical hand movements.  
  
Admittedly, it's not the first time that's occurred.  
  
After drying off my upper body with the same towel, her eyes meet mine.  
  
"You Ok?"  
  
Is she kidding?  
  
"Hell yeah."  
  
She seems amused by my bluntness, rolling her eyes before gesturing for me to flip over and lie down. She wastes no time in removing both my towel and hers, leaving me butt naked lying face down on our bed.  
  
Our bed. Something else that used to belong to one person only but that she's been more than happy to share.  
  
I begin to wonder where she's got to, until I hear her creep up behind me once more. Suddenly my ears become aware of a squirting noise, and before I can adjust my head to try and catch a glimpse of the next part of her plan, I gasp with surprise as a cool liquid makes contact with my upper back.  
  
She kneels on the bed beside me, before crossing one of her legs over my body to the other side and lowering herself onto the rear of my abdomen. She's careful to place most of her weight on her knees, knowing how sensitive this particular area of my body is.  
  
In yet another swift movement, she uses both of her hands to rub the liquid as smoothly as she can over my skin. It's probably baby oil, but right now I don't actually care - whatever it is, it's more than enough.  
  
I feel her hands once again move to her personal rhythm - something I can only hope is a taster of things to come.  
  
Leaning across my back she reaches my ear, enveloping me with her body, encasing me in her arms.  
  
"Almost every day you tell me I'm beautiful, and I've never once said it back to you. But you are. You're gorgeous."  
  
How someone can make you want to laugh and cry at the same time I'll never know. She's done it countless times before, and right now she's just done it again.  
  
As much as I love feeling her surround me, I shuffle about in an attempt to move. She seems perplexed for a minute or two as she shifts off me, looking at me with concern.  
  
Her apprehension is soon relived though, as I position myself sitting up against the pillows on the headboard of the bed. My eagerness for contact with her again surfaces, as I reach out to her with both my arms.  
  
Once more she takes her place around me, sitting in my lap with her thighs either side of mine. We're both grinning at each other like idiots. . . but I wouldn't swap this moment for the world.  
  
She starts kissing my neck, moving from my collar bone up to my ear, and back down again.  
  
"I came to find you before I left - you were in trauma two working on that MVA drunk driver. I didn't want to disturb you. . . I know how hard that patient must have been to treat given how much damage he caused. . ."  
  
Her voice trails off in an almost wistful manner, as she pulls back to make contact with my own eyes.  
  
"I guess I wanted to do something special for you. To help you unwind, and forget about any traumas, patients or charts."  
  
Her face turns serious.  
  
"Sometimes I think we take our work home with us too often. There's a line between work and home, a line between business and pleasure. . . a line between Dr John Carter, Nurse Abby Lockhart. . . and me and you as we are now. John and Abby. No lives to save, no drugs to prescribe - just me. . ."  
  
She presses her nose up against mine, softly speaking the end of her words.  
  
". . . and you."  
  
I smile at this. She's right - we do cross the lines for more often than we should. In many ways it's crossing lines that lead us here in the first place, but now that we're here I especially cherish the moments spent away from County. As me, and her. John and Abby.  
  
Moments like these.  
  
Her grin reappears, as she wraps her arms around my neck, touching her nose to mine. Her voice this time is a lot more husky than before, sending shivers down my spine.  
  
"Did it work? Are you relaxed?"  
  
I consider this, knowing full well that there's only one truthful answer.  
  
"Nothing in the world would have worked better."  
  
Only now does she let me kiss her.  
  
It's going to be a long night.  
  
John and Abby. Me and her.  
  
The only two people in my world right now.  
  
Lighting millions of cities, never mind thousands.  
  
I can't wait. 


	4. Trust

You reviewers make my day. Seriously.  
  
I've been posting a chapter every week with this fic, but due to the fact that I'm going away next week then there might not be another instalment for a while - I'll try my best though.  
  
Taylor - in reference to your request - all I can say is stay tuned ;-)  
  
With a title like this fourth chapter, it seemed so easy to go down a deep and serious road with it. So, on a whim,, I decided to take them to a whole other place. Literally.  
  
Enjoy!!!  
  
*****  
  
Wonder Number Four - Trust  
  
*****  
  
I hear him call my name, shattering the still, humid air around my skin.  
  
Lifting the upper half of my body, I peer over the rims of my sunglasses across the beach.  
  
I catch a glimpse of his form in the water, bobbing up and down with the waves as they carry themselves to the shore.  
  
"You coming in?"  
  
Nice one Carter.  
  
He may be far away, but I can still make out his mischievous grin as he mimics the words I spoke not so long ago.  
  
In some ways it seems like yesterday, in others, a decade.  
  
I lay back down again for a few seconds, trying to muster up the energy I need to get up. It doesn't take long. I may be the most relaxed I've been in a while, but taking a swim with John Carter doesn't exactly sound like the worst thing in the world.  
  
After taking off my t-shirt, I pad through the sand to the water wearing my black bikini-top and black shorts. It's at moments like these that I'm glad he knows his way to the most secluded beaches. I'm not exactly comfortable showing so much flesh, but then again there isn't a part of me that this man hasn't seen. Besides - wasn't I completely naked when we did this last?  
  
I reach the waters edge and look up, using my hand to shield the sun from my eyes as I try to spot him once again.  
  
It's not hard.  
  
He's sat with his legs dangling out of the giant rainbow coloured rubber ring he bought this morning from a street vendor, his face turned towards the sky no doubt in an attempt to try and catch a few rays.  
  
You should practise what you preach, Carter.  
  
I hesitate briefly while trying to remember if he put sun block on, only to remember that through my insisting that he put some on this morning I ended up putting it on for him myself.  
  
Taking a deep breath in an attempt to prepare myself for the temperature change, I step into the water. I'm surprised at how warm it is, and allow myself to wade in until it's up to my waist.  
  
"Take your time."  
  
I look up and roll my eyes at him, floating around a few metres in front of me. We hold our playful gaze until he speaks again.  
  
"I thought I was going to have to carry you in - I don't think you moved from that towel in an hour."  
  
I deadpan my answer back to him, a look of mock annoyance on my face.  
  
"You know I can't resist you when you're wet."  
  
He laughs at this, attempting to propel himself closer to me with his hands.  
  
"Come on. . . I'll let you share my ring. . . "  
  
He finishes the sentence with a wink, as I raise my eyebrows in surprise.  
  
"Is that a promise?"  
  
"What. . . you don't trust me?"  
  
I decide to meet him half way, raising my legs off the floor to allow myself to swim. Reaching the ring, I twirl him round so our noses touch. Kissing him lightly, I move my lips around to his ear and speak in a whisper.  
  
"I trust you. . . "  
  
Seconds later, I grab the ring and push it over, sending him crashing through the surface of the water. His head appears once more, coughing and spluttering for breath. I, meanwhile, have struggled my way into the ring and am mimicking his pose from before.  
  
". . .I just don't wanna share."  
  
He hold onto the sides of the ring, treading water with his feet.  
  
"Well. . . that's hardly fair to someone who's brought you all the way to Hawaii for a week."  
  
I kiss my fingers and then place them on his nose.  
  
"Talking of which. . . how come you never told me you owned a beach house here?"  
  
"I don't. My Dad does."  
  
"Yeah but still. . . "  
  
"I wanted it to be a surprise. You like it here?"  
  
I avert my eyes from his face to the rest of my surroundings. Clear turquoise water surrounds us both, the sandy beaches to our right, secluded rocky coves to our left, and directly above us the sun basks in a completely cloudless sky. I turn my attention back to him.  
  
"I could get used to it, I guess."  
  
He knows me well enough to comprehend the real meaning behind that sentence.  
  
I love it here.  
  
He lays his head in my lap, allowing his legs to rest for a while. I trace the outline of his ears, causing him to grin ever so slightly. He starts to kiss my stomach, moving his affections higher and higher until he reaches my mouth. I find myself completely relaxing in his touch. . . his taste. . . his scent.  
  
And that's my mistake.  
  
As soon as he feels this, he flips me over and out of the ring, sending me tumbling into the water much in the same way as he did a few minutes ago. I somehow find my way to air again, staring at him with counterfeit anger once I've regained my composure.  
  
He's now floating in the ring, his arms resting on the sides, his body in the centre hole.  
  
Looking at me like butter wouldn't melt.  
  
I figure two can play that game, and taking a deep breath I dive beneath the surface, find my way underneath the ring, and break to air again through the centre hole.  
  
It's a squash with both of us in it. . . but that's half the fun.  
  
I keep afloat by wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling our bodies closer.  
  
"Hi."  
  
He answers my greeting with a long, lingering kiss. I may be submerged in water, but I can still feel every inch of my skin tingle with his touch.  
  
Like I said - I can't resist him when he's wet.  
  
We both draw apart for air, leaving our noses pressed together. We're grinning at each other like idiots.  
  
Thank you, John Carter.  
  
Thank you for whisking me out here, far away from my responsibilities and work which sometimes threaten to overrule my actual living.  
  
Thank you for reminding me of what it's like to feel completely and utterly at ease.  
  
Thank you for knowing exactly what I needed without me even uttering a word.  
  
Suddenly, I feel the ground beneath me once again. We must have drifted inshore with the tide. Without a word, he removes the ring over the top of our heads and grasps it with his left hand. With his right, he reaches around my waist, leading us to the shore.  
  
Maggie used to take us to the beach sometimes when we were kids. I remember one summer being taught how to swim by one of her many male admirers.  
  
I used to love the sea, but one of my pet hates was when the sand used to stick to my wet skin after a dip in the ocean.  
  
Like it's doing now.  
  
But for some reason I don't care.  
  
I've barely even noticed.  
  
He sits down on my beach towel, and in an instant I'm sat between his legs, his arms wrapped around me.  
  
I've got tiny yellow grains stick to my legs, feet, even between my toes.  
  
But I'm also wrapped up in John Carter.  
  
I think I can cope with both.  
  
He starts kissing my neck. Tiny butterfly kisses that are barely there, but still have the capacity to send shivers down my spine.  
  
I run my fingertips down his arms, causing goose pimples to arise on the surface of his skin. The reaction he has to my touch never ceases to amaze me.  
  
His hairs stand on end.  
  
Of course, he has exactly the same effect on me. But the knowledge that you can make someone feel like that. . . it's almost overwhelming.  
  
"You ready to go?"  
  
His voice snaps me out of my thoughts. No I'm not ready - I don't ever want to leave. I take one more look around and decide to tell him what I dodged before.  
  
"I love it here."  
  
"I know you do."  
  
Once again, he continues with his butterfly kisses.  
  
"But we can come back tomorrow."  
  
Around my shoulders.  
  
"Or the next day."  
  
Down my back.  
  
"Or the day after that. . . "  
  
I smile. I guess we can. A whole week of sun, sea, sand. . . and Carter.  
  
I tilt my head back letting him know I'm seeking his face in my view. He complies, and I smile even wider as I look into his eyes. My voice is barely above a whisper.  
  
"Please."  
  
He returns my smile, kissing me quickly before attempting to gather up our belongings. I help him do so, and we make a move from the beach after linking out hands together in a perfect fit.  
  
It's a mere 5 minute walk to our beach house, and on arrival we just drop everything on the front porch before entering knowing that no harm will come of them.  
  
Yet another difference between here and the city we're used to.  
  
Once inside, I'm overcome with a need to just hug him - just to feel his body next to mine. So I do. He seems surprised, but I can feel his smile on my hair.  
  
This is enough to remind me that I better go and wash it. There's enough salt in it to flavour a meal for an army.  
  
Looking up, I catch his gaze.  
  
"What do you want to do for dinner tonight?"  
  
"I thought we'd take the car down to that little place we saw on the way up here. We ate in last night, so I figure it would be nice to go out tonight."  
  
I agree, nodding my head.  
  
"I'd like that. Just so long as we get to come back here for dessert. I gotta say, the strawberries here taste much better than at home. . . or maybe it's the object I'm eating them off that makes all the difference."  
  
I swear his eyes light up at that. He mutters his reply before leaning in for another affectionate embrace.  
  
"If your taste is anything like mine, I'd go for the latter. . . "  
  
After a few more minutes, I give his arms a final squeeze before leaving them and heading to the bathroom. He goes back outside to hang the towels up to dry, ready for tomorrow.  
  
Undressing, I leave my clothes in a heap on the floor ready to join the towels later. Fiddling with the shower dial I finally hit the right temperature, and I step in being careful not the slip on the wet floor.  
  
For a while I just stand under the shower, letting the warm water wash away the salt water and sand. All of a sudden I hear him enter the bathroom, calling my name.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You thinking of getting out of there any time before Christmas?"  
  
I smirk.  
  
"5 minutes and then it's all yours."  
  
I hear him scoff under his breath. He doesn't believe me, and I don't blame him. I'm not exactly renown for my quick showers.  
  
I peel open the shower curtain, and pop my head out. He's leaning against the basin, clad in nothing but his robe, a playful look on his face.  
  
Uh oh. What's he up to now?  
  
I decide to play along for the time being. Cocking my head to the side, I shoot him my best innocent look, speaking in a shocked voice.  
  
"What? You don't trust me?"  
  
He moves closer to me, kissing me lightly.  
  
"No, I trust you. . . "  
  
He takes off his robe, opens the shower curtain a bit more and steps in.  
  
". . . I just wanna share."  
  
Taking me in his arms, he nuzzles at my neck, his hands running up and down my back. I move my head trying to gain access to his mouth, and I'm rewarded as his tongue explores every crevice of my own.  
  
What can I say.  
  
I can't resist him when he's wet. 


	5. Honesty

For the next two chapters I'm taking a more serious tone I think. Beauty and Trust were great fun to write, but I think for the next two I need to go a little bit deeper.  
  
Anyway. . . I don't like this one. I don't mean to turn into one of those writers who does nothing but criticize their own work (I actually liked Beauty and Trust), but. . . yeah, I just don't like it.  
  
As always - thanks for all the reviews. Most greatly appreciated.  
  
*****  
  
Wonder Number Five - Honesty  
  
*****  
  
There she is.  
  
Sat on the same bench as always, hugging herself in an attempt to keep out the bitter cold.  
  
You gotta love Chicago weather.  
  
I gingerly move from the doorway, closer to the lights of the city down below.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Her head snaps up suddenly, but still she remains mute.  
  
"Surprised to see me?"  
  
She smirks, inhaling deeply before responding.  
  
"I shouldn't be. No matter where I go you always seem to find me."  
  
My reply is immediate.  
  
"I think that can only be a good thing."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
Biting my tongue, I decide to ignore that comment. The negative half never ceases to rear its ugly head every once in a while, and it's just about all I can do to pay no attention to it.  
  
I carry on my quest to become closer, perching myself on the ledge opposite her. Putting my head in my hands, I can't keep a sigh from escaping my cold body.  
  
God, I hate this day.  
  
When I was young I was told not to use that word - a word in which only the strongest feelings of detest can fulfil.  
  
I guess I'm justified in using it now.  
  
Candy hearts, pink ribbons, cards. . . all ciphers of a time I've tried so hard to forget. And yet every year, here it is, in all it's red promotional glory.  
  
I lift my head to look at her once more. Her position hasn't changed.  
  
She's almost ice like. Cold. . . still.  
  
By the looks of things, I'm not the only one having a day worth forgetting. I can't help wondering once again if I'm going to be let in, or will I have to guess, or. . .  
  
"I haven't seen you around much today. You OK?"  
  
Her question surprises me somewhat.  
  
"I'm fine."  
  
By the way she's looking at me, she's obviously not convinced.  
  
"You sure?"  
  
I don't think I'm even convinced myself.  
  
I find myself sitting beside her on the bench, and ever so slowly laying my head down on her shoulder. Before I get there, she wraps her arms around my neck.  
  
Tight.  
  
Tighter than she's ever done before.  
  
I take a while to savour the moment. She's melted from frozen in a matter of seconds.  
  
Amazing.  
  
I feel her shuffle against my shoulder, moving her head to the side near my ear.  
  
"I'm here."  
  
After taking just a little while longer, I pull myself apart, eager to gain her gaze. Only as I do, will I answer.  
  
"That's all I need."  
  
My eyes never leave hers.  
  
Sometimes, no matter what else is going on in my surroundings, I can't tear myself away from her chocolate circles. They seem to speak a language of their own - a language I've grown to understand.  
  
It hasn't been easy - but I'm getting there.  
  
I hear her sigh, and only as she looks away and wraps her arms tighter around her torso do I notice the tiny white flakes of snow gradually making their way from the heavens.  
  
I smile slightly, casting my gaze upwards. For a few seconds, Abby's not the only female occupying my thoughts.  
  
I know you're there, Lucy.  
  
You don't have to send down flurries of ice flecks to remind me.  
  
I revert my attention back to Abby, meeting once again with her line of sight. I'm not surprised to see her smile a little at me.  
  
She knows exactly what I'm doing.  
  
"She's Ok."  
  
I lift my head up once more, closing my eyes to feel the snow brush my face before answering.  
  
"I know."  
  
I decide to reverse play, turning the focus on her.  
  
"Are you?"  
  
Again, she looks away.  
  
Again, I plead wordlessly with her to stop running away.  
  
Don't make me guess.  
  
How far are we going to go if we keep hiding from each other?  
  
We sit in thick silence once more, neither of us brave enough to break it just yet. I decide to change the subject slightly, reverting back to earlier that day.  
  
It's a feeble attempt to ease the tension somewhat.  
  
"What did she decide to do in the end?"  
  
It hadn't failed to escape my notice that Abby had spent the majority of the day looking after a pregnant teenager.  
  
Still avoiding my eyes, she waits a while before responding to my query.  
  
"She's having a termination."  
  
I'm not shocked. It had been the girl's wish ever since the pregnancy test results came back.  
  
"Maybe that's the best decision. She seemed pretty certain it was what she wanted."  
  
I don't expect her immediate response.  
  
"There is no certainty when it comes to decisions like that, Carter."  
  
Her voice is abrupt, and it leaves me startled. Once again, she looks away, but it's not long before she carries on talking - her voice now of a calmer manner.  
  
"She didn't have a boyfriend - said it was a one night stand. Her parents sounded pretty high class, and she was adamant that they weren't to know."  
  
Another pause.  
  
"I can't help wondering if she'd just given it a little more time. . . maybe thought about it some more. She seemed pretty confused and scared. . . not that anyone can blame her for that."  
  
Yet again, another breather.  
  
Something, somewhere deep in the pit of my stomach is telling me that something isn't right. Abby's never been the best person for not becoming too attached to patients. . . but then again few people are.  
  
But this is different. And as hard as I try, I can't quite put my finger on it.  
  
Let me in, Abby.  
  
Let me in.  
  
"I offered to go with her to the. . . but she said no. It's just. . ."  
  
She bows her head before lifting it once more to look straight at me. Her voice cracks in the middle of her dialogue, and it's a while before she carries on.  
  
". . . no one should have to go through that alone."  
  
And at that moment, something snaps. Somewhere in my mind, a penny drops.  
  
I follow my first instinct of reaching out my hand to her. She takes it tentatively, linking her fingers through mine. For a while she just sits, staring at our hands.  
  
"When?"  
  
I can barely hear my own voice, only just above a faltering whisper.  
  
Lifting her eye line, I catch a glimpse of the chocolate circles once more.  
  
"Valentine's, 1998."  
  
God.  
  
I had no idea.  
  
A million questions begin to form in my mind.  
  
Why?  
  
Where?  
  
Why wasn't Richard with her?  
  
I don't ask any of them. I know that when the time is right, she'll tell me, and it's obviously not right tonight otherwise she would have carried on.  
  
I move from my position, walking slowly over to her seat. She's bowed her head again, and is now staring at her own hands, wringing them in a way that I've come to recognize as a sign of upset.  
  
Lifting her head, I place my hands just below her ears. Bringing my head down slowly, I plant a long kiss on her forehead, closing my eyes a second after she closes hers.  
  
When I pull away, I notice a stray tear that is slowly making its way down her cheek. I gingerly reach out my hand to brush it away, and as I do so she takes hold of it with her own. Pulling herself up, she immediately leans against my body, and I barely hesitate before wrapping my arms around her tiny frame.  
  
My turn.  
  
I lean down to place my head on her neck, letting out another whisper.  
  
"I'm here for you."  
  
I hear her exhale intensely before replying.  
  
"I know."  
  
She lifts her head, and when I look at her face I'm almost positive I can see a hint of a smile.  
  
"That's all I need."  
  
We stay like this for a few minutes. . . wrapped up in each other.  
  
Once again, it's me who breaks the peace.  
  
"Thanks, Abby."  
  
She looks puzzled.  
  
"Thanks for being honest with me. . . for being straight with me. Thanks for not hiding."  
  
Her look of bewilderment fades, and I can almost sense an air of relief.  
  
"It's getting harder by the day to hide from you, John Carter."  
  
Repeating my words earlier, I speak with a grin.  
  
"I think that can only be a good thing."  
  
This elicits a laugh from her, gradually moving from her mouth up to her eyes.  
  
"Definitely."  
  
Leaning down, I stroke my lips along hers before capturing them in a soft, gentle kiss.  
  
A kiss that regardless of the temperature, doesn't fail to make me feel warm inside.  
  
"Come on."  
  
The puzzlement's back.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"You and me are going to go home. . . run a hot bath complete with that foam you like. . . stick on some jazz. . . order in a takeaway and see if we can't put a good spin on the end of this day."  
  
Without hesitation, she cups my face in her hands, and repeats the kiss of before.  
  
"That sounds good to me."  
  
I mock hurt.  
  
"What. . . just good?"  
  
"Well actually. . .  
  
Her voice dissolves into a faint murmur as she leans in closer.  
  
". . . not far off perfection."  
  
Rubbing my nose against hers, I close my eyes for a moment before taking her hand in mine and leading her off the snowy rooftop.  
  
We've grown here tonight. . . we've developed.  
  
We've moved that little bit closer to each other and our future.  
  
And I think that can only be a good thing.  
  
Definitely. 


	6. Forgiveness

I'm well aware that this situation was covered in the show, but this is my version, if maybe the timing had been just a little different.  
  
Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes in this - my beta's abandoned her duties by going on holiday ;-) Again, not sure of this chapter personally, but everyone else seems to be liking the ones I don't so I thought I'd post it anyway ;-)  
  
Thanks again for all the lovely reviews - every time I say that I feel like I'm repeating myself, but I really do appreciate them all.  
  
Please keep them coming. I need some motivation to write the last one. I've got the idea there, I just need some willpower, so if there's anyone who reads this and hasn't reviewed yet, PLEASE do so because it makes my day.  
  
Stay tuned for the final chapter.  
  
*****  
  
Wonder Number Six - Forgiveness  
  
*****  
  
Please be home.  
  
Please.  
  
After scanning the apartment, my heart sinks.  
  
Not home.  
  
With a sigh, I throw my bag on the couch and drop beside it, glad of some form of comfort after a journey from hell.  
  
Here I was hoping I'd come back to heaven.  
  
Sometimes all I need is for him to wrap me up in his arms and never let me go - and this is definitely one of those times.  
  
No such luck.  
  
Delusion has nothing on this.  
  
I manage to muster up enough strength to lift myself off the couch, and I'm about to go make a start on a cup of coffee when I spot something out of the corner of my eye.  
  
Turning quickly, my breath catches in the back of my throat.  
  
He's here.  
  
Stood in the doorway of the bedroom, watching me intently.  
  
Tear stained cheeks, rumpled clothes and matted hair.  
  
But he's here.  
  
I'm in so much shock from seeing him, it doesn't occur to me to ask why he's in this state straight away. And even as it does, I'm almost afraid to ask.  
  
This is bad.  
  
"How is he?"  
  
His question throws me somewhat.  
  
This isn't about him Carter, this is about you.  
  
Nevertheless, I decide to answer.  
  
"He's better. I gave him the depakote, and he's gone to stay with Maggie. I figure she's got more chance of talking him round and into a programme than I'll ever have."  
  
No reaction. Carter, you're scaring me.  
  
Swallowing my fear, I ask the inevitable.  
  
"What's going on?"  
  
Folding his arms across his chest, he takes a few steps forward. He looks almost defensive, and his eyes drop straight to the floor.  
  
"Gamma died."  
  
For the umpteenth time since I turned the lock, I'm too shocked to even move.  
  
The only thing I'm aware of is our breathing.  
  
Shallow, quivering intakes of air combining in the space between us.  
  
Died.  
  
I can't believe it.  
  
I'm so shocked, I'm barely aware of the fact that he's still talking.  
  
". . . and then I need to find a caterer for the funeral, I need to get hold of some more numbers of relatives, I've talked to Dad and he's on his way home and he said he'd contact Mom and then. . ."  
  
"Carter. . ."  
  
I feel dizzy.  
  
He stops suddenly, his brown spheres now lifting from the floor and making contact with mine.  
  
Taking a few steps forward, I reach out my hand to him.  
  
I'm here.  
  
I slowly pull myself towards him and wrap my arms around his trembling form.  
  
He doesn't even flinch.  
  
Leaning towards his ear, I speak softly.  
  
"You don't have to be so strong."  
  
His arms move from his chest and around my waist, gripping me tightly. I feel him shudder against my shoulder, as he finally lets go.  
  
It's Ok. Things are going to get better.  
  
We stand in exactly the same position for what seems like a lifetime. I won't move until he wants to. Until he needs to.  
  
After a few more minutes he does just that, and within seconds we're sitting on the couch. Well, he is.  
  
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I climb onto his lap.  
  
I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you.  
  
Forgive me.  
  
Please.  
  
I look towards his face, but his head is bowed.  
  
"Why didn't you call me, John?"  
  
He mumbles his response, giving me a clue that it was obviously something he deliberated over.  
  
"Eric needed you. I. . . "  
  
I don't give him a chance to finish.  
  
"So did you."  
  
We sit in near silence. . . the only sounds coming from my lips as I feather light kisses on his cheeks every so often.  
  
Letting him know that I'm here.  
  
That I'll always be here.  
  
I may have failed you in the past, John Carter, but I'll be damned if I let it happen again.  
  
I feel his chest expand slowly, getting ready to talk once more.  
  
"I went to see her earlier this evening."  
  
He snorts lightly, reminiscing the visit just a few hours ago.  
  
"I sat there for ages, just watching her. Thinking how different everything was. Thinking how different everything is going to be."  
  
He tenses his grip around my thighs.  
  
"For the first time in a while. . . I was scared."  
  
Only now does he lift his head, his eyes piercing straight through my own once again.  
  
"Do you know when I stopped feeling like that?"  
  
Yes.  
  
I know, because you've done it to me countless times before.  
  
"The moment you walked in, I felt. . . safe. Still scared. . . but not half as much."  
  
He drops his head again, but I catch his chin with my finger, guiding his eyes to meet mine once more.  
  
"You're not going to go through this alone."  
  
A lone tear slips down his cheek, and I catch it with my thumb.  
  
"Promise?"  
  
Leaning in, I plant a soft kiss on his dry lips.  
  
"I promise."  
  
Again, we sit in silence once more. Shifting slightly, I notice the clock on the VCR.  
  
1am.  
  
I wonder what time my shift. . .  
  
"Kerry gave us both the day off tomorrow. I'm off for the rest of the week, and she said you could take it off too if you want."  
  
He read my mind. Still, nothing new there.  
  
"I'll have as much time off as you need me to take."  
  
He shuffles forward, and we both move off the couch. Once again our arms wrap, covering each other's backs.  
  
I don't need an answer from him. I know it already.  
  
"The rest of the week it is then."  
  
I grasp his hand tightly and lead him to the bedroom. I'm about to pull out some pyjamas for him when I notice what he's wearing.  
  
Boxers and one of my big t-shirts.  
  
I smile, for what feels like the first time in ages.  
  
Pulling back the covers, I gesture for him to get in to bed and he complies. I plant a kiss on his forehead before undressing myself, then moving to the bathroom to begin my nightly ritual.  
  
A while later, I emerge in one of his shirts after flicking off the bathroom light. I climb straight into bed, and I'm about to assume he's asleep when I feel his hand reach out to pull me close.  
  
We lie facing each other, both listening to the other's breathing.  
  
I remember doing this in the early hours of the morning in the early days of our relationship.  
  
Times may have changed, but the simple things remain the same.  
  
And most of the time, it's them that matter most.  
  
Opening my mouth, I hesitate slightly before speaking.  
  
"I'm sorry I wasn't here for you. . . "  
  
"Abby. . . "  
  
"No John, listen. I should have been here. Seems like all I've been doing lately is running around after my family, and trying to make everything better on my own. I'm realizing now that I can't do that, and that sometimes I need to. . . "  
  
"Abby, your brother's sick. I understand."  
  
"That doesn't make it any fairer on you."  
  
For some reason, even though we're touching, he feels too far away.  
  
Rolling us over on our sides, I lie on top of him. Shifting my body up slightly, I reach his face.  
  
The moonlight from outside shines through the light coloured curtains, his eyes reflecting the glow.  
  
Noses touching, breaths merging once more.  
  
"When I saw you here tonight, you scared me. I've never seen you like that before, and a part of me can't stop regretting that I wasn't there when you heard the news. . . "  
  
Leaning forward slightly, I plant a small kiss on the top of each of his cheeks, causing him to tighten his grasp around my lower back.  
  
". . . to comfort you, hold you. . . like you would have done me. I'm so, so sorry."  
  
It's just about all I can do to look him in the eyes. I can't stand disappointing people.  
  
It's that exact fact that lead me here in the first place.  
  
I didn't want to disappoint Eric.  
  
But right now, lying here in his arms. . . I know that disappointing Carter is just as bad.  
  
Worse, maybe.  
  
I mentally scold myself for going down that road. I refuse to place them in order of importance - I won't do it. However, a little priority shifting may be just what the doctor ordered.  
  
That I will do.  
  
For him.  
  
For us.  
  
I lie down slowly, feeling his head lower to smell my hair.  
  
After a few seconds of hush, I can just about hear his faint whisper.  
  
"It's OK, I forgive you. You're here now. . . that's all I need."  
  
Only now am I able to relax completely. I stay in my sprawled state across his chest, my own chest rising and falling with his breaths.  
  
Very few times in my life have I ever felt like I'd want to stay in that moment forever.  
  
But for all the times I have. . . he's been with me.  
  
This is one more to add to the count.  
  
I feel myself drifting off, but I'm brought back slightly by the sound of his voice.  
  
"Abby?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Next time something happens. . . I'll call." 


	7. Love

So here it is at long last - the final chapter. This is a bit longer than the rest, but I wanted to end on a goodie. There's a bit from a previous standalone of mine included in this chapter as well - it's from "Giddy".  
  
The format is also a little different - I've been alternating between Carter and Abby's point of views in the previous chapters, but here you get both. Two for the price of one. Value, huh?  
  
This series has certainly been an experience, and I'm glad I've actually done one instead of individual standalones.  
  
Ez - Thanks for giving me faith, putting up with my perfectionist ways and for mushing more than anything ;-)  
  
Malikah - Many times you've been a source of motivation to write, if only to help you out of your Carby bad patches ;-) Repeat after me - they're gonna be OK. . .  
  
Taylor - What can I say. You blow me away with your writing, and it means so much to have someone as talented as you review my work. Thanks so much :- )  
  
To everyone else who reviewed - I wouldn't have carried on if it wasn't for the reviews that I've received. Every single one was appreciated, and I'd love it if you just pressed the button in the bottom left hand corner just once more. Thanks again.  
  
*****  
  
The Final Wonder - Love  
  
*****  
  
I can never seem to stop the butterflies that creep into my stomach whenever I'm within a 10 mile radius of this place.  
  
Stop it, Abby.  
  
Just knock on the damn door already.  
  
With a closer look, I realize I don't need to. Surely not - the door of the prestigious Carter family mansion left open?  
  
Apparently so.  
  
As I step inside, I realize that the place seems even more empty than usual. I remember our conversation previously, when he told me that the staff were all on holiday, and "Gamma's house" would be empty.  
  
He's never called here home.  
  
Right now I'm thanking my lucky stars, because wherever he is I call home. . . and this building is a little too much to process.  
  
I'm snapped out of my daze by the faint sound of piano music, wafting its way through the seemingly endless corridors covered in esteemed artwork.  
  
Following the noise, I reach my destination. The music room.  
  
Seeing that the door is slightly ajar, I push it further, enough to see the magnificent instrument. I take in its gleaming black shade, awed at it's class. It's lower than most I've seen, but that fact takes nothing away from its worth.  
  
In a instant, I shift my gaze over to left.  
  
No artwork, instruments or any other object in these quarters could compete with the image in my vision right know.  
  
A smile creeping onto my lips, I decide to break this wonderful interlude for a chance at something even better.  
  
"I didn't know you played".  
  
*****  
  
I stop abruptly, my head snapping towards the doorway.  
  
"It's one of my better kept secrets".  
  
I pause slightly.  
  
"Gamma made me take lessons as a child. . .told me even though I disliked it then, there would be a time when I'd enjoy it and thank her for making me persevere. She was right - just as she usually was. It used to be only here that I got to completely loose myself in something other than saving lives."  
  
She leisurely makes her way over to me, our eyes never breaking contact.  
  
"Used to be?"  
  
Her eyes are sparkling. She knows exactly what's changed. . . what else now has the ability to consume my entire being.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Holding my gaze for a few seconds longer, she looks around the room once more.  
  
"Well please, don't stop on my account".  
  
I regain my place in Beethoven's sonata, once again sending waves of sound seeping through the house.  
  
She joins me on the stool, resting her head on my shoulder. . . content to just watch my hands for a while.  
  
I play the last few notes of the piece slower than I should, wanting the moment to last as long as possible. . . afraid of what might be lost once I stop.  
  
I shouldn't be afraid, and I realize that as soon as I lift my hands from the keys.  
  
I trust this woman completely.  
  
The waves still echoing around us, she takes my right hand in hers and kisses it lightly.  
  
"I missed you today".  
  
Between the endless streams of patients, piles of charts, and other seemingly small and yet annoyingly time consuming tasks that fate would place in the way, I'd barely seen her.  
  
I move my head to the right, smelling her hair.  
  
Coconut.  
  
"Me too".  
  
I inhale once more.  
  
God, me too.  
  
Moving my face from her hair, I cup her chin with my hand. Tipping it up parallel to mine, I lean down and kiss her lightly.  
  
Barely even there.  
  
*****  
  
And yet there sure enough.  
  
Sending shivers through my soul.  
  
No other man has ever connected with me like he does. And the wonder of it all is most of the time, he doesn't even use words.  
  
He doesn't need them.  
  
I lean into his presence as he pulls away from the kiss.  
  
Don't go.  
  
He takes hold of my hand, guiding me to stand. I follow him back across the room, through the doorway and up the staircase.  
  
I consider asking him where we're going, but think better of it. He wouldn't tell me anyway, and I think this may very well be one of those rare occasions when I actually like a surprise.  
  
I thought right.  
  
He's guided me into his bedroom. I've only ever been in this room once before - to pick up some things that he left here a couple of weeks ago after the funeral.  
  
Leading me to the window, he stands behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach whilst leaning his head on my shoulder.  
  
"Look."  
  
I follow his gaze across the acres of gardens in front of me. Water features, hedges and multicoloured flowers adorn the seasoned pastures, making for a view that just takes my breath away.  
  
I sigh contentedly.  
  
"It's gorgeous."  
  
I feel his head turn to place his lips on my neck, kissing me softly. I cup his cheek in my hand, stroking his smooth skin.  
  
"It's mine."  
  
A deer caught in headlights has nothing on me.  
  
I turn around abruptly in his arms. He's smirking, a look of amusement on his face.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"It's mine. Gamma left me the whole estate - the house, the foundation. . . everything."  
  
For some reason, I'm unable to speak. He senses this, carrying on with the story.  
  
"At first I was. . . angry, I guess. It should have gone to Dad. I was fed up of having to deal with everything, fed up with having to hear my parents arguing over arrangements. . ."  
  
He casts his eyes from mine over the beautiful vision outside once more.  
  
". . .I was fed up with missing her."  
  
I wrap my arms around him tighter, and he reciprocates. He hasn't talked much about Gamma since her death. I've tried to broach the subject, and each time he'd let me into his grief just a little bit further. . . as far as he wanted to.  
  
He's going to be OK.  
  
He knows it. I know it.  
  
We stay with our arms around each other for a while, until I laugh softly into his chest, causing him to pull away slightly.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
He grins at me.  
  
"What?!"  
  
"It's just. . . you got the house, the gardens, the money. . . this is the stuff fairytales are made out of. You're a King, Carter."  
  
He laughs.  
  
"I prefer 'Prince'. . . 'King' makes me sound like I'm about 50."  
  
My turn to laugh.  
  
"Ok. Prince it is."  
  
"You don't believe in fairy tales."  
  
"I don't. . . I probably never will. But. . ."  
  
His face holds an expression of curiosity, and I shrug my shoulders innocuously.  
  
". . . many things are never as good as you think they're going to be, which inevitably leads to disappointment."  
  
He's still waiting.  
  
"But some things are just as good. . . "  
  
I incline my head up to his.  
  
". . . and some things are even better."  
  
He leans down slowly, capturing my lips with his own in a profound kiss that's enough to make me collapse at the knees. After pulling away, I feel him rest his nose on mine.  
  
"Well in that case. . . don't I need a princess?"  
  
My eyes flutter open to reveal two deep brown circles staring back at me.  
  
"And why would you need one of those?"  
  
Suddenly he becomes serious. His eyes still penetrate through my own. . . yet another thing that has the ability to render me weak.  
  
"I want a partner. Someone to share this house with, someone to walk in these gardens with. Someone to laugh with, someone to cry with. . . someone to lean on at times when the fairytale goes wrong. Someone who'll hold me through everything. Someone who no matter what, I can count on to stand by my side. Someone who'll do all this with as much passion, strength and love. . . as I'll do to her."  
  
He pauses slightly, to brush away the tears that somehow have begun a trail down my cheeks. Leaning in closer still, his voice lowers to a whisper.  
  
"Be my princess, Abby."  
  
*****  
  
I feel her swallow hard.  
  
Why do I feel like this is it? Like this is what the last few months have been building up to. . . one pivotal moment.  
  
Probably because. . . it is.  
  
She pulls me in even closer, our lips now touching. Closing my eyes, for a moment I think she's going to kiss me. But then I hear her voice.  
  
"Forever."  
  
My eyes flicker open, to the sight of absolute certainty in her own.  
  
"Say it again."  
  
Pressing her lips to mine once more, she pulls away slightly, all the while her eyes never leaving mine.  
  
"Forever."  
  
For a few insatiable moments, all I'm aware of is my heartbeat. It's quickened it's pace considerably, and it's no wonder really.  
  
I am completely and utterly in awe of this woman.  
  
Reaching up, she places her delicate fingers on the left side of my chest, letting them linger there for a while.  
  
Taking my heart in her hands.  
  
Two beating as one.  
  
I run my fingers up and down her arms, causing goosebumps to rise to the surface and her hairs stand on end.  
  
I'm suddenly overcome with the need to kiss her. . . to feel her skin on mine. . . to feel our breaths merging as one.  
  
She gets there first, standing on her tiptoes to make contact with my lips.  
  
Meeting her half way, we unite as I slowly reach down and run my fingers underneath her sweater and across her stomach.  
  
In a matter of seconds, her sweater is off and she's unbuttoning my shirt. She pulls me backwards to the bed, kneeling on it so we're the same height.  
  
Smiling, she reaches down to plant feather light kisses across my chest. After unhooking her bra, I reciprocate, causing her head to fall forward and lean against mine.  
  
I feel her slide my trousers down my thighs, taking my boxers with them.  
  
I reluctantly stop my kisses, only to unbutton her jeans.  
  
*****  
  
I'm aware of my trousers dropping to my knees as I look into his eyes once more. Without breaking our gaze, I pull him rearward onto the bed as he fully discards my jeans.  
  
With just my panties separating us, he hovers around the hem with his fingers whilst kissing me.  
  
Driving me crazy. . . making me want him even more.  
  
Here I was thinking that wasn't even possible.  
  
"John. . . "  
  
His name comes out as a moan, letting him know how much I want him as he diminishes the material.  
  
Shifting positions slightly, I feel my head land on the pillow, and as I look down I see he's taken up his favourite spot once more.  
  
Chin in my navel, eyes fixated on mine. Smiling, I run my fingers through his hair.  
  
"Hey."  
  
His turn to smile as he replies.  
  
"Hey yourself."  
  
Lowering his head, he begins his trail of kisses once more. Circling my bellybutton, before moving to the insides of my thighs.  
  
My skin is tingling.  
  
He's touching me and yet I still crave him. His scent, his hold. . . his kiss.  
  
I weave my fingers through his tresses once more, and he shuffles above me.  
  
Grinning at him once more, I capture his embrace with my own.  
  
In a matter of moments, it's as if time stands still.  
  
Eyes lock.  
  
Limbs entwine.  
  
Two become one.  
  
*****  
  
My head's spinning.  
  
I can barely see straight.  
  
Falling deeper and deeper into her arms.  
  
I feel completely exhausted, and yet somehow I can't tear myself away from the pair of brown pools shining back at me.  
  
Catch me, sweetheart.  
  
The room's a blur, my surroundings all merging into a twilight haze, yet there's one image I can see clearer than the light of day. And it's one that's enough to leave me bewildered.  
  
She's stunning.  
  
Many times I've lay awake at night just watching her sleep, trying to think of words to describe her. One keeps coming back to haunt me, no matter how many more I think of.  
  
Simply stunning.  
  
Slowly and softly, I use our interlaced fingers to pull myself nearer, sending quivering vibes through my skin as our chests graze against each other.  
  
She lets go of my hands, running her fingers through my hair. I'm completely fixated on her face just inches below mine. Nothing else matters.  
  
Nothing at all.  
  
She smiles, leaning down to brush her lips across mine, leaving me breathless within seconds. She moves across my cheek to my ear, opening her mouth slightly. The noise she makes comes out as a hushed whisper, gently slicing through the still air.  
  
"I love you. . . so much."  
  
I take a few beats to enjoy her words before waiting until she's back in my view to respond, my voice taking the same tone as hers.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
She exhales slowly, kissing the tip of my nose before I settle down at her side. Wrapping my arms around her, she snuggles against my chest.  
  
I reach down to her thigh, tracing heart patterns with my fingers along the smooth surface of her skin. Her hairs are still stood on end, something that amazes and comforts me all in one fell swoop.  
  
I can feel her back rising and falling against my front with each breath she takes, her heartbeat slowing to its resting state.  
  
She caught me.  
  
She always does.  
  
Feeling her slip into dreamland, I lift my head off the pillow one last time and move towards her ear. Speaking in the faintest whisper, I can just about catch her soft smile as she hears my voice.  
  
"Forever." 


End file.
